Trivialville

Source: Cinemablend.com

Michael C. Hall, who plays the title role in the coolest fucking show ever Dexter, is set to star in the film East Fifth Bliss, in which he, as a 35 year old man, begins a relationship with an 18 year old girl. Now, in the article I read, it mentioned Hall as continuing to be creepy. I, on the other hand, would like to give him a handshake and a high five. Let's face: all dudes wanna date younger girls, and she's 18, so I don't see what the creepiness factor of this movie is going to be. In fact, this film gets our stamp of approval for flying in the face of moral decency.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm meeting a 13 year old at her house to tell her NOT to talk to creepy pedophiles. And to give her the lube she requested/I assume she requested.

-Jon

P.S. If you don't get the joke, shame on you.

Source: Cinemablend.com

According to the article posted on Cinemablend.com (which was taken from a story in Variety.com), Rob Marshall is "most likely" going to be directing the 4th Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Now, some of you may ask, "why is there a Pirates 4 and who the hell is Rob Marshall?" Marshall is the director of the Academy-Award winning musical Chicago, the Catherine Zeta Jones picture that was both overrated and...well, overrated. Me, I love musicals (what straight man doesn't?), but Chicago was just a mess that was aimed towards the middle aged and I'm not there yet. Plus, anyone who lets Renee Zellwegger in a movie is no friend of mine.

Anyway, Marshall's new film, Nine (not the sweet animated one, but SHOCK a musical), will be hitting theaters soon and Pirates 4 may or may not be his next picture. It isn't etched in stone yet, but I think I speak for the general public when I say: who cares?

Pirates ran its course many moons ago, and the third film wasn't exactly the greatest film to cap the series on. I understand it's a cash cow and Johnny Depp needs (no he doesn't) 40 million dollars, but milking a franchise running on empty is not the way to recessitate Hollywood. Still, it will probably gross a boat load, but I expect a 70 percent drop second-week. I call it now. Remember this.

Who knows, maybe Rob Marshall, should he take the job since it isn't etched in stone yet, will breathe new life into the series. All I know is I won't be watching either way. Three was enough.

-Jon

If there's one director with an overrated track record, it has to be Richard Kelly. Hitting on the scene with Donnie Darko, a boring and self-indulgent mess featuring Jake Gyllenhall as Donnie and Drew Barrymore as...no one integral to the story. He followed it up with the three thousand hour (at least it felt like it) epic Southland Tales starring The Rock and Sean William Scott, a reunion all five Rundown fans had been waiting for. Although markedly better than Donnie Darko, Kelly showed himself to be a man who likes to, as the Greek philosophers put it, suck his own dick.

"The Box", starring Cameron Diaz and James Marsden(swoooon in a manly way), is about a couple who get a visit from some creepy dude with a face issue (Frank Langella) carrying a box with a button inside. He tells them if they push the button, someone they do not know will die. However, they will also be compensated for their guilt with one million dollars.

The trailer looks somewhat interesting, I guess. I like Frank Langella and James Marsden, so that may get me to watch it. However, some of the visuals in the trailer (gawking man outside the house, I'm looking at you!) are just unneccessary and there to be there.

I don't know, maybe Richard Kelly will finally make a movie that is worth watching. We'll see. Check out the trailer and give me your thoughts! DO IT!

-Jon

The "Saw" series, for my money, is one of the better film franchises going. Although many have said it's lost steam as time has gone on, you cannot deny the fact that every year, you're guaranteed some blood, some guts, and even a little story. As Halloween edges close, Lionsgate has released the teaser trailer for Saw 6, which is being shown before Orphan.

From the trailer, you cannot really tell what is going on, as it just leads you into many CGI rooms with monitors displaying the action. However, the blurb about it states that (SPOILERS) Detective Hoffman has become the new Jigsaw and now has to fend off the FBI.

I admit, I have not seen the 5th film, but I found the 4th to be a worthy entry in the series. As time gets near, I may go through all five Saw movies in anticipation for the 6th.

Anyway, watch the trailer below, let me know what you think.

Source: Cinematical

The Joe Johnson directed remake (I know, they made another one) The Wolf Man has been delayed until February of 2010. Originally supposed to come out in November, it apparently fell victim to the dreaded evil known as post-production and reshoots.

The film stars Benicio Del Toro in the title role, and judging by the picture to the left, the makeup at least looks pretty cool. I won't judge the film yet until I see a trailer, but I won't lie...I'm pretty pumped to see it. Unfortunately, with the January-February stretch of the year being used a dumping ground for crap projects (hellooooo Legend of Chun-Li!), that makes me a bit nervous.

Anyway, your Thanksgiving season will be less wolfman-y than previously, although if you love werewolves, check out the next installment of the Twilight franchise, New Moon. Actually, don't.

-Jon

1. G-Force - 31.7 million(31.7M)
2. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - 29.5 million(221M)
3. The Ugly Truth - 27.6 million(27.6M)
4. Orphan - 12.9 million(12.9M)
5. Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs - 8.41 million(171M)
6. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - 8.12 million(379M)
7. The Hangover - 6.46 million(247M)
8. The Proposal - 6.38 million(140M)
9. Public Enemies - 4.35 million(88.3M)
10. Bruno - 2.83 million(56.6M)

This week at the box office was no shocker, at least to me since I work at a movie theater. G-Force brought in all the families, with parents looking to shut their kids up by bringing them to the theater and avoiding as much contact with them as humanly possible. The guinea pig holocaust drama beat out Harry Potter 6, which dropped a ridiculous 62% in its second week, reinstilling my faith in the fact that people finally realize that Harry Potter is stupid and not worth supporting...although it already made 221 million, but a man can dream right?

A franchise people still support, however, is Transformers and it is on track to clear or nearly clear 400 million by the time it is pushed out of theaters. Dear America: please stop letting Michael Bay think his movies are good. Seriously.

Other new releases, The Ugly Truth and Orphan, did well, with Orphan doing better than my managers thought it would. Hell, with Peter Saarsgard in it, I'm surprised anyone even saw it. Who honestly likes him? Seriously? Exactly. None of you. Ugly Truth at least has Gerard Butler, who straddles the line of being typecast in two genres (romantic comedy and action). I wanna see him make a spaghetti western. They don't exist anymore though.

Bruno has officially tanked. Sasha Baron Cohen will not be stuck playing himself. Rumors of his impending suicide are unconfirmed.

NEW RELEASES NEXT WEEK: Judd Apatow's new movie Funny People (yay), the kid film Aliens in the Attic (boo), and the horror movie no one will see The Collector (meh). Come back next week for more "funny funny" rants.
-Jon