Note: This will be a one take review for the time being, as Chris is backed up with real-life stuff. When he's ready, he will add his two cents in. Nkay? Nkay.
Starring: Jeremy Piven, Ving Rhames
Writer: Andy Stock/Rick Stempson
Director: Neal Brennen
Writer: Andy Stock/Rick Stempson
Director: Neal Brennen
The Plot
Source: IMDB.com
In a desperate attempt to save his rapidly failing used car dealership, Ben Selleck hires a crack team of "car mercenaries" to ramp up sales during the Fourth of July weekend. Led by the fast-talking, foul-mouthed, self-assured Don "The Goods" Ready, the group has three days to sell over 200 cars. But as Don undertakes his newest mission, and quickly falls for the boss's daughter Ivy, he realizes he'll have to trust more than his cars and his crafty skills in deceit to make a success out of the daunting weekend.
In a desperate attempt to save his rapidly failing used car dealership, Ben Selleck hires a crack team of "car mercenaries" to ramp up sales during the Fourth of July weekend. Led by the fast-talking, foul-mouthed, self-assured Don "The Goods" Ready, the group has three days to sell over 200 cars. But as Don undertakes his newest mission, and quickly falls for the boss's daughter Ivy, he realizes he'll have to trust more than his cars and his crafty skills in deceit to make a success out of the daunting weekend.
Take One!
I should have seen the signs. I really should have. I've seen The Goods trailer at least ten times and not in the ten times did I laugh, but you know what? I love Entourage, and by proxy, I moderately love Jeremy Piven so I was hoping that this movie was going to be at least not a regret. Plus, it was free.
If it had not been free, I'm pretty sure I would have sued the theater for damages as well as my refund. This is a trainwreck, pure and simple. The "funny" parts in the trailer are, very sadly, 99% of the best parts of the film. Yes, that's right. Outside of a really funny Will Farrell cameo that you can watch online anyway, all the stuff in the trailer is as good as it gets. So if you laughed...well, get ready to relaugh at what you saw there, and if you didn't...it gets worse. Really worse.
Jeremy Piven phones it in playing Don Ready as an Ari Gold knockoff in a vest, which I thought would work, but didn't. The supporting cast isn't much better, especially Dr. Kim (who's really starting to wear out his welcome in Hollywood) and Ed Helms who plays an unfunny wannabe boy band member who sing unfunny songs in a really unfunny parody. No one cares in this movie, and no one is trying, and it's so painfully obvious.
I don't want to just criminally slam it though, so here's some positives: the plot is okay, David Koechner (WHAMMY!) and Craig Robinson have one or two amusing lines, and the movie ends. Those are your positives.
If I were you, I would not see this unless you really wanted to see if the people behind Talladega Nights could make anything WORSE than Talladega Nights. DUKETASTROPHE.
-Jon
If it had not been free, I'm pretty sure I would have sued the theater for damages as well as my refund. This is a trainwreck, pure and simple. The "funny" parts in the trailer are, very sadly, 99% of the best parts of the film. Yes, that's right. Outside of a really funny Will Farrell cameo that you can watch online anyway, all the stuff in the trailer is as good as it gets. So if you laughed...well, get ready to relaugh at what you saw there, and if you didn't...it gets worse. Really worse.
Jeremy Piven phones it in playing Don Ready as an Ari Gold knockoff in a vest, which I thought would work, but didn't. The supporting cast isn't much better, especially Dr. Kim (who's really starting to wear out his welcome in Hollywood) and Ed Helms who plays an unfunny wannabe boy band member who sing unfunny songs in a really unfunny parody. No one cares in this movie, and no one is trying, and it's so painfully obvious.
I don't want to just criminally slam it though, so here's some positives: the plot is okay, David Koechner (WHAMMY!) and Craig Robinson have one or two amusing lines, and the movie ends. Those are your positives.
If I were you, I would not see this unless you really wanted to see if the people behind Talladega Nights could make anything WORSE than Talladega Nights. DUKETASTROPHE.
-Jon
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